Friday, March 21, 2014

Bye Bye Peanut

Although it was fairly short, we still thank you for the brief joy and miracle you have brought on us.. on our family. We are forever grateful even for your short existence.

I had a miscarriage. It was a weird experience to say the least. When it happened, I just didn't know how to feel or how to react. It was a strange feeling that I really don't know how to explain it. I didn't want to drown myself in sadness, sorrow and depression.. I just thought, maybe this time it just wasn't meant to be. Although I did have a brief moment of blaming myself of what I might've done differently to prevent it. And then my doctor gave me a wake up call. He said, "it's just nature's selection.. it can happen. And there is nothing or anyone to blame. We shouldn't play the blame game on anything or anyone.. especially not to yourself." And you know, he's right. So I shed my tears (by myself of course) and dust myself off for what's next.

I underwent a surgery last Wednesday to basically 'clean' the womb and uterus. After the surgery, I feel.. empty.

But you know, I have to be positive for 'what's next'. I'm not traumatized or whatever. I'm sad, of course. Obviously. But I'm looking forward for my next healthy pregnancy. This time it just wasn't meant to be. Though, again, I am still overjoyed and grateful for that brief miracle that was in my belly.

ps: Yep, I called my fetus 'Peanut'.


  1. been U'r SR for broke my heart to read this post..Hanging there,Mba..hope U'll be alright n always healty..